At the conclusion of last year’s inaugural challenge I offered the following regarding the topic of Black Consciousness.
I’ve always been aware of my blackness. I never had what some refer to as a “black-ass moment”, when a person of a different race had to make my blackness known to me by way of some bigoted action. What has eluded me is the acceptance that some Black people choose self-loathing and reject unifying under the banner of our shared “black” experience in favor of seeking approval from those that oppress us.
I’m working on that, though. I’m working on being OK with the fact that some people, with or without a “black-ass moment”, may not ever have the confident assurance to be Black AND Proud.
I’m still working on that. It’s still a challenge for me not to pass judgement and to accept the fact some of my skin-folk are lukewarm in the Black Pride Department. What I have reconciled is that blackness is multi-layered and complex. So, any attempts I make to define blackness in rigid, linear terms in which my own experiences are the foundation and pinnacle is far too myopic.
Where I remain conflicted is trying to accept how one can be aware of their blackness yet operate in and navigate it in ways that appear to be in direct conflict. I have a hard time understanding how one can support, advance and adopt political, social, and cultural ideologies that are detrimental to their identity and humanity.
I have 365 days to decide whether I will work this out internally or just stop concerning myself with it altogether. It will likely be the former because in the words of the infamous, Mo’Nique,
“I love us, for real.”