Black Blogs Matter Challenge Week 3: I Ain’t Going Black and Forth With You

January 31, 2019

My To Don’t List For Living My Best Black Life


I REFUSE to let 2019 be a repeat of 2017 and 2018. So, at the start of the year, instead of resolving to add a myriad of things to my life, I determined that the things I remove will have the greatest impact. My “To Don’t List” is designed to set boundaries, make myself a priority, relieve unnecessary anxiety and stress, and take the limits off of what I believe I can achieve. It is the most effective tool in my kit to prevent me from going black and forth with y’all so I can live my best black life.


  1. Don’t trust words over actions.

  2. Don’t nurture professional or personal relationships that require you to compromise what’s in your best interest.

  3. Don’t hold yourself accountable for other’s shortcomings.

  4. Don’t procrastinate.

  5. Don’t play Oppression Olympics with those who are less marginalized.

  6. Don’t overcommit.

  7. Don’t shrink yourself to fit someone else’s definition of who you are.

  8. Don’t give yourself heartburn trying to eat an entire elephant in one bite.

  9. Don’t forget to celebrate your wins, even the small ones.

  10. Don’t believe or ignore the negative messages your mind sends you when you’re “below the line”. Thank that evil bish for sharing her misguided opinion and then tell her to move along.